Guns. What are they? Why do they even exist? When they do nothing but murder? Fact: We lose 93 million Americans a day to gun violence.

Rough transcript:

(We lose 93 million Americans a day to gun violence.)

Where do these dangerous weapon come from? They come from everywhere. In fact, it is even easier to get a gun than it is to get a book.

(It is easier for a teenager to buy a Glock than even a book.)

Sadly, these evil boom sticks aren’t going anywhere any time soon. So it’s important to know everything you can about them, so that you can inform your ignorant, redneck neighbor about how horrifying guns truly are. Here are two rifles. Both fire period 223 ammo loaded with 30 magazine clips.

(30 magazine clip.)

Can you tell which one of these is worse? If you chose this one, you are correct. Why? Because this one is black and therefore it is scarier and instantly more dangerous. A universal principle that applies in any scenario.

I’ve been informed that this is a shotgun with a pistol grip which folds for maximum portability. When employed, it produces an incredible sound with a hyper cardioid pickup pattern. I don’t know what most of that means, but it sounds really, really scary.

Here’s an interesting fact. Democrat controlled cities with the tightest gun control policies have the highest gun crime. This is because right-wingers hate the gun laws so much that they travel across state lines to commit murders in those areas. Devious.

Consume this fact. There is no other country in the Western world with mass shooting deaths and frequency at a higher rate per capita than the United States. Except for Norway and Switzerland and France and Slovakia and also Finland and Belgium and Serbia and Macedonia. Oh, Albania and the Czech Republic. But aside from them, not one. This fact is disturbing. And younger viewers may want to turn away. If we look at all 97 countries where mass shootings are recorded, the United States ranks a whopping 64th in per capita frequency. 64. That is a big number.

Now, additionally, in 1997, game developer Rareware released the seminal first person shooter GoldenEye 007 for the Nintendo 64! Coincidence?!

“Hey, how do you know so much about guns,” you might ask? Well, we have so much knowledge due to the work of University of Alabama Associate Professor Adam Lankford, who clearly outlines how America is the worst in the world in regards to gun violence. Adam Lankford, University of Alabama Professor Adam Lankford. In fact, his work is so thorough that he refuses to release the data supporting his findings to anyone. That’s how scary his findings is.

This is a stabilizing brace. When coupled with this buffer tube, it acts as a bump stock, turning a flintlock rifle into a machine gun turret instantly.

(Turns this weapon into an automatic weapon. This bumps … it becomes a bump stock.)

As you can see, it makes it a higher caliber weapon, come out of it.

(Put a pistol on a brace, it may turns into a gun, make some more you can have a higher caliber weapon coming out of that gun. God save the queen man.)

This is a ghost gun. Ghosts are scary enough, even without guns.


How can we possibly stand against a foe as …

(I’m a ghost)

Can you knock it off? How can we possibly stand against a foe as formidable as a ghost with its very own gun?

(Own gun.)

This is a magazine Maga Zine. Need I say more? Now that you know these terrifying knowledge nuggets, you must do everything you can to ban guns. Otherwise, you are personally complacent in every murder. Call your local representative to inform them so that they can be as smart as the featured individuals from this video. After all, they will be making all the laws to prevent future gun evil. They are our betters, and we should always trust what they say just as long as they have a (D) next to their name.


If I take this weapon and I bang it. Look what just happened. The bolt goes forward. The weapon has fired. This terrifying procedure kills people in basic training every day.

Source: Babylon Bee,